Directed By Mary Bronstein

Starring – Rose Byrne, Conan O’Brien, A$ap Rocky

The Plot – With her life crashing down around her, Linda (Byrne) attempts to navigate her child’s mysterious illness, her absent husband, a missing person, and an increasingly hostile relationship with her therapist (Conan O’Brien).

Rated R for adult language, some drug use and bloody images.

If I Had Legs I’d Kick You | Official Trailer HD | A24

POSITIVES

It takes a truly resilient woman to even attempt the remarkable feat of motherhood, especially in the day to day grind of an endless gauntlet that tests the limits of love and physical strength, and while Bronstein’s latest isn’t the first film to render such an adversarial onslaught, it’s ultimately the one that made the longest lasting impression towards a gender that already had my undying respect. This is undoubtedly the most terrifying movie of the year, and one that Bronstein directs incredibly towards articulating a suffocatingly tense and smothering atmosphere, full of unforeseen obstacles and persisting annoyances that vividly convey the isolated dread of this woman continuously attempting to hold things together, despite the evidential toll of her mental duress weighing heavily on the claustrophobic shot composition from cinematographer Christopher Messina, that remains invasively a part of the film’s most distinguishing factors. In sampling the very same brand of visuals that co-producer Josh Safdie helmed in films like “Uncut Gems” or “Good Time”, Messina utilizes tightly tense framing not only as a way to zero in on the transparency of Linda’s responses to so much overwhelming adversity, but also towards conjuring such an uncomfortable brand of atmosphere throughout the film’s consistency, that never regresses, regardless of where the story takes us, and while the imagery could feel a little too tightly contained for audiences in search of the bigger and wider picture of these variously vital interactions, for my money its clinging dependency alongside Linda is irreplaceably valued towards offering no semblance of levity towards an interpreting audience, taking us and our protagonist along on a roller-coaster of emotions that speaks levels to the spontaneity of such a thankless job. In addition to this, Bronstein also makes the refreshingly daring approach towards obscuring the identity of Linda’s daughter, throughout almost the entire duration of the film, and this also serves a dual purpose on the intention, in that it not only mirrors Linda’s perspective in being unable to see the humanity of her child in the various tribulations spent with her, but also a subtle manipulation towards maintaining the sympathy and empathy of Linda’s cause, forcing audiences to deal purely with the singular perspective, that, for better or worse transcribes honesty to so many humanistic impulses in her decision-making. What’s most refreshing about Bronstein’s illustration of her leading lady isn’t so much a nobility that makes her a knight in shining armor for everything that’s right, but rather a flawed semblance of imperfection that grounds her with many of the same mistakes and clarity that stems from a lack of sleep, and even assistance from a distanced husband (With a surprising cameo too awesome to spoil here), often plaguing Linda as her own worst enemy, throughout a brand of self-sabotaging strategy that never keeps the conflicts of the movie rested for longer than five minutes. In addition to fantastic direction and gut-punching storytelling, Bronstein’s influence over the proceedings can also be felt impactfully in the depth and designs of so many compelling performances, featuring typically comedic performers deviating towards dramatic waters. This is especially the case for Conan O’Brien, who as a snarky and uninterested psychiatrist, channels a level of audaciousness that keeps his character from feeling anything other than punchable, especially with a palpable essence of resentment against Linda’s life choices that he fuels with distracted underlining in his interactions with her. A$ap Rocky also makes an effective transition from the world of hip-hop to cinema, featuring no shortage of radiant charisma and appalled responses as the straight man to Byrne’s madness for mayhem, with the two sharing the screen for some of my favorite scenes of the entire movie. However, this is Rose Byrne’s world, and we’re all just fortunate enough to be living in it, as the veteran actress elicits a career-defining turn that takes grit and vulnerability to a whole other level. On the surface, Byrne’s anxiously unglued facial registries playing to the claustrophobic confinement of the lens would certainly be enough to earn her monumental praise from an adoring audience, but it’s ultimately the raw simmering of stress, and startling immediacy of her emotionality to portrayal that demands Oscar’s adoration in the form of a Best Actress nomination, with a tightly wound element of resistance to her encapsulation that feels like it could blow and devastate anyone in a ten mile radius, at any given moment. Byrne’s intense unraveling certainly measures great success for her portrayal, but it can also be shared somewhat with the subtlety of the make-up designs within the production, which intentionally make Byrne look as physically drained and frail as a woman continuously fighting uphill against the wind of life that is blowing forcefully down upon her.

NEGATIVES

In terms of complaints, I had some problems in the direction of certain moments feeling a bit tone-deaf in the orchestration of their intention, particularly those pertaining to the child’s overzealousness in dialogue, that didn’t feel as naturally conceived as the adult conversations throughout the film. Whether intentional or not, there were moments pertaining to characters in great pain or struggle that I found myself laughing at, on account of the way that the scene is directed with subtly caustic wit, and while twisted humor has always been an aspect of Bronstein’s films, even dating as far back to her independent debut in “Frownland”, here, it feels like the impulses to cater towards the unnaturally comedic drain a bit of the emotional resonance contained during some of the movie’s most vitally vulnerable moments, which in turn led to some direct tonal clashes from scene-to-scene, which transition with a complete lack of naturalism to the integrity of the corresponding engagement, in turn wiping away some of the realism of moments, even if thematically the movie was following through with its perception is reality talking point, that it introduced during the film’s opening minutes. Beyond some tonal incoherence for prime moments, my only other complaint with the movie pertained to some of the execution of its supporting characters and subplots, which didn’t feel like they added any kind of concrete value to the journey of the characters, and instead served as plot devices for conflicts that were occasionally introduced a bit erratically. Such an example of the latter pertains to a car accident where Linda illogically brings something valuable to her child out of the car, while confronting the man who hit her, only to see that object destroyed in the blink of an eye, and while you could easily write it off as her mind being occupied, it doesn’t exactly justify matters when you consider that Linda deliberately reached for the object before exiting the car, and didn’t have it in her hands when she was hit. As for the supporting characters, despite aforementioned solid work from A$ap Rocky as James, a motel superintendent where Linda and her child stay during unceremonious home repairs, the evolution of his arc doesn’t feel like it leads to anything valuable to even warrant the extent of his inclusion, the longer the film persists, and he just sort of disappears once Linda’s husband moves back into frame, seemingly in effect of the movie’s inability to simultaneously write the male characters that weave in and out of Linda’s life.

OVERALL
“If I Had Legs I’d Kick You” is an emotionally grueling and relentless onslaught of a portrait towards motherhood, that breeds stress aplenty throughout the most horrifying and uncomfortable engagement that I’ve experienced since “Midsommar”. While not categorized as a horror film, the everyday exploits of a mother attempting to hold things together, made me feel as frightened and helpless as any screamer put to screen, this year, and with the impact of gravitationally-defining turn from Rose Byrne, in which everyone and everything orbit her viscerally exhausting command over the vulnerability of her character, Mary Bronstein manufactures and unapologetic drama that thrives in the audacious ambitions of the chances that truly set it apart.

My Grade: 8.1 or B+