Directed By Dexter Fletcher

Starring – Chris Evans, Ana de Armas, Adrien Brody

The Plot – Cole (Evans) is a kind individual residing with his family in a picturesque farm located outside of Washington. His life takes an unexpected turn when he encounters Sadie (de Armas) and embarks on a texting journey with her. But, as the days pass, Cole’s mind is consumed with the fear of being abandoned and he becomes frantic in his attempts to reach her. Despite his family’s warnings, Cole’s desperation drives him to embark on a perilous journey to London in pursuit of his love interest. However, upon his arrival, he finds himself ensnared in a web of deceit, as he’s mistaken for the notorious espionage specter, the Taxman.

Rated PG-13 for sequences of strong violence/action, brief strong adult language and some sexual content

Ghosted — Official Trailer | Apple TV+ – YouTube

POSITIVES

For my money, the talents of the big name ensemble does help in sedating some of the sting from underwhelming elements, even if what they’re given to work with is the bare minimum of compelling potential. Evans and de Armas are at the very least giving their all to the engagement, leveling some demanding physicality to their never-ending charisma, which at least makes it easier to invest in the plights of their respective characters as they trot the globe while trying to redefine their once propserous relationship. Besides them, Adrien Brody chews up as much scenery as a Tazmanian Devil, complete with a ridiculous Russian accent and razor thin stache’ that not only makes him a fun and maniacal cartoonish madman who feels lifted from a 70’s James Bond film, but also allows him the rare opportunity of playing against type at this stage in his remarkable career. There’s also an abundance of surprises in the cameo department, with one such scene easily serving as my favorite of the entire film, where each fresh face is interchanged at the velocity of a full-fledged tornado, with some unique coincidences and history to the two main characters that feels like the logic to leveling so many of them towards one film. Aside from the ensemble and their friends, the film is benefited by some high-stakes fun action set pieces, which pay off in spades with intense execution. These moments are aided by crisp fight choreography that wholeheartedy embrace urgency and vulnerability of the engagements alike, especially during the film’s climax, which makes a high-rise restaurant feel like a revolving roller-coaster at a thousand feet in the air. Lastly, while I didn’t agree or appreciate many of the movements of the script, the unconventional spin of role reversals between a CIA agent for Ana, and a plant worker for Chris, was a refreshing change of pace that afforded each of them such complex challenges in their respective approaches, without any of it being meandered as heavy-handed emphasis in the commentary of the material. de Armas particularly embraces the challenges while opposing some monumental odds against her favor, and if it’s up to me, she should be given a chance to play more of these badass female heroins.

NEGATIVES

From the opening frame of the movie, I was distracted by an immediate element of weak production values that make this Apple+ installment feel plucked directly from an NBC TV show. This is realized in sight and sound, with unnatural cinematography in color grading that made the environments feel anything but authentic, and the rare miss from iconic musical composer Lorne Balfe, who conjures such stock and on-the-nose compositions without any of the mirrored grit or geographic relevance of the imagery. If Apple is looking to seamlessly bridge the gap between them and the silver screen, then they might want to do it with a presentation that doesn’t consistently point out the budgetary inferiorities of its budget, which so often made it difficult to remain focused in my investment. Equally adding to this distraction was the abundance of unnatural green-screen work from the special effects department, which not only emitted a glaring lack of influence from the actors imbedded in such artificial properties, but also helped “Ghosted” feel every bit of its 90’s rendering, but for all of the wrong reasons. Without question, the worst of it comes during a second act crumbling cavern sequence, with all of the intensity and ruins surrounding Evans, but none of the heft in influence that would probably have destroyed him within seconds. But looks aren’t everything to the film’s inferiorities, as the script undercooks two genre classifications for the price of one, with material so conventionally phoned-in that it felt impossible for gauging audience interest. While Evans and de Armas are solid in their respective portrayals, their lack of romantic chemistry is clearly evident, undercutting the magnetism of their on-again, off-again relations, and the comedic material is so embarassingly conjured that I was often left with audible groans in majority throughout the engagement. This material doesn’t bring out the best or most appealing indulgence to the many interactions it emphasizes, nor does it attain an edginess to a PG-13 rating that often waters down its various punchlines, which is all the more strange when you consider this is presented for a streaming audience with no age restrictions. It’s also far too long of an engagement, with a two hour run time that stacks pocketed moments of plodded pacing like a stack of dishes, with so much that can easily be cut or at the very least hemmed for momentum. This is most felt during the end of the second act, where one such meeting between sides feels like the big climatic showdown, but then perseveres afterwards with still forty minutes remaining of the film, leaving us stunted before a climax, which should have us eager for the big pay-off. Finally, this is another streaming effort that combines as many pop culture songs that bare no verbal context to the scenes and sequences they are accommodating. This is meant to manipulate the audience into having a good time based on tracks they easily recognize, but in this instance it meanders a bit on the side of desparation, without adding anything substantial to the integrity of the finished product.

OVERALL
“Ghosted” is too lazy to even attain merit in the minimalist of instances. Without a shred of chemistry between its leads, a laugh in its gags, or a cinematic charm to its presentation, the film is the latest in a conveyor belt line of uninspired streaming installments meant to sway audiences away from the expenses of the theater, but instead re-affirms the opposition with a lifeless rendering in TV quality that isn’t even worth a monthly subscription.

My Grade: 4/10 or D