Directed By John Hamburg

Starring – Mark Wahlberg, Kevin Hart, Regina Hall

The Plot – Follows a jaded father (Hart) who finds time for himself for the first time in years while his wife (Regina Hall) and kids are away. He reconnects with a friend (Wahlberg) for a wild weekend.

Rated R for some sexual material, adult language and brief drug use.

ME TIME | Official Trailer | Netflix – YouTube

POSITIVES

There are not many things to praise about this floundering effort, but what little does work is in the clutches of this charismatic ensemble, who each give their all to make the most of the monotonous material. Kevin Hart is physically and emotionally dedicated to this cause, with scenes that gravitationally push the envelope, all the while cementing a previously documented helping of heart during a hefty third act that is easily the highlight of the film for me. Likewise, Hart’s chemistry shared with Wahlberg elicits a lived-in realism to their dynamic, with moments of nagging nuance and corresponding psychology that above all else makes them feel believable in their respective castings, with an evolving deconstruction of the ice between their characters that has surfaced as a result of the time apart between them.

NEGATIVES

Where do I begin? “Me Time” is the kind of outdated film I absolutely dread enduring because it not only makes me feel old for feeling so forcefully against what is considered funny by contemporary times, but also one that is frustratingly translucent for how easily predictable the story and character movements in motion were easily predicted minutes before they even materialized. On the former, the material in attempted gags are disguising and juvenile, leading to an abundance of bodily humor deliveries out of every possible orfice that overstays its welcome early on, then only grows more tedious with the lunacy and repetition of the set-up in every possible scenario that makes idiots out of the characters we’re saddled with. It’s also a tonally rocky one, with the much-desired R-rating playing opposite to much of the gags and occasionally censored language in dialogue, feeling like a creative contradiction within itself that struggles to find consistency in comfort, with Hamburg pulling double duty and possibly wearing himself thin with the intention. As for predictability, the script feels like assorted pieces from other, better films that knew capably and confidently how to include them, but here feel like a series of one-off scenes and sequences that only further enhance detectability based on the forcefulness of how they’re included to the fray. Part of this problem is in the abundance of subplots itself, with as many as seven different ones each fighting for time, and none of them receiving the kind of ample development that diverts them from the road of expectations that I was comfortably waiting on. When I say I accurately predicted every single direction of this film, I mean it heartfully. It’s television kind of writing that never comes across as compelling or even remotely believable, in turn directly slicing into the momentum of the already tedious pacing that lacks momentum, thanks to the disjointed structure of what feels like the many separated skits that these characters persist through. Speaking of television, the film is plagued by cheap production designs and horrendously unnecessary special effects that are a further distraction to the monuments of adversities that the film is continuously working against. The camera work and cinematography feel plucked directly from contemporary sitcoms like “Modern Family” or “Blackish”, polishing a cheapness and circumstantial artificiality in lighting that is matched and then eclipsed by the worst green screen this side of the big screen that any production could imagine. Whether in C.G designed animals lacking both in heft and shadowing, or green-screen backdrops that all but highlight the strings that the actors are hanging by, one thing is certain: this film was not given the proper time and merit to make a meaningful difference, in turn emitting a cold and careless feeling that is mirrored in almost every single aspect of the film’s underwhelming presentation. Finally, while the film is only 98 minutes in run time, the pacing of which, primarily during the third act, screeches throughout a continuously grinding halt that rids it of any accidental momentum or fluidity in storytelling progression. During the movie’s climax, we come to accurately predict the typical third act break-up that we get in all of these one-dimensional comedies, but it’s dragged out in a way that pads itself across the film’s final twenty-five minutes, leaving the audience begging for the finish line that they don’t realize they’re not even close to. This is even resonant during the earlier acts, where it basically just repeats the intention of serving up these many awkward situations for Hart to sift through, but with a different backdrop to the scenario. It’s like Hamburg just got a bunch of strange ideas that were rejected in the American Pie franchise, then decided to use them here, in turn sacrificing the fluidity of momentum or realism in nuance that this film completely evades on its way to one very painful sit. For the solution, it’s easy to say that cutting ten minutes from the finished product could easily alleviate it from some of this plodding movement, but for my money the material itself is the real victim, feeling stuck in place quite periodically throughout, all the while riding the waves of the aforementioned predictable intentions that underwhelm long before the sedation has any possibility to.

OVERALL
“Me Time” isn’t the escapist vacation that me or any other man should be longing for. It’s an unfunny, disgusting, and predictably bland failed TV pilot posing as a big screen comedy, via Netflix, and one that even with the alluring charms of Kevin Hart and Mark Wahlberg, can’t be saved to donate nearly two hours towards experiencing it, leaving this as one of the many oppositions in the streaming service’s attempt to bridge the gap with theaters, and instead driving the wedge even further.

My Grade: 2/10 or F-