4/10

E.L. James’ kinky best-seller gets the big screen treatment with this Universal Pictures/Focus Features co-production. The steamy tale details a masochistic relationship between a college student and a businessman, whose desires for extreme intimacy pen from secrets in his past. The plot i have just told you is EXTREMELY stretched for sure. When you consider that most of the conflict in this film (If there is any) stems from Anastasia (Dakota Johnson) stuck in a decision of signing her life over to the mysterious Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan), i found myself perplexed by their decisions to explore bondage multiple times even before the contract is ever signed. There are some things that i did enjoy about this film, and i will get to them later. The biggest problem facing this movie is the fact that it has two second acts. The non-existent third act pushes us into an ending that is uneventful, and feels like Director Sam Taylor-Johnson didn’t pick the right spot to end this first of a proposed trilogy coming in the next few years. The audience i sat with felt very puzzled as the movie ends without solving it’s conflict, or even advancing our characters beyond a few short reveals. The film’s first act to me was intriguing enough to get me remotely interested in the backstories of the rich and puzzling Grey. It’s in that aspect that the film succeeds to it’s highest level, but fails at it’s highest expectation. We don’t learn a lot about Christian except for why he is a dominant. I’m sure the books do a better job at explaining it, but i have to grade this film alone, and on that aspect, it’s very tight lipped. I also enjoyed that the movie seems to have some comedic underlying tones, and doesn’t take itself too seriously. I talked greatly in my review for “Jupiter Ascending” about films that take their gutsy premises too seriously, but i’m glad that this movie didn’t venture down that path. Some of the line deliveries from Johnson are intended to be humorous. I think this is a first big step in her career, but i wish the overall effort around her was more memorable. Dornan just didn’t make a believer out of me, and i’m someone who has never read the books. His line deliveries seem more like an actor reading a script and not necessarily someone with a problem ripping him at the seams. Dornan could do a lot more if he wasn’t so monotonous to the point that it only does his character a disservice for anyone in the audience to root for him. Christian Grey is the single toughest protagonist to ever get behind. He’s abusive (Yes i know there is a contract, but it doesn’t make it right), he’s pushy to an overbearing ordering personality, and he’s a HUGE stalker when it comes to Anastasia being his property. I ask what woman would be fine with their best friend being with a man like this if he didn’t have millions and millions of dollars, and that is the biggest misunderstanding i had with the movie. What exactly does the women demographic get from this film? The sex? It’s mostly female nudity. Johnson has so many tedious and repetitive sex scenes that it almost seems pointless for her to wear clothes by the final act. There are too many sex scenes even for this type of movie. To cram Six sex scenes in a two hour film only slows it down when it’s trying to progress it’s character arc’s, and to be honest, it’s the part of the film i could’ve done without. The scenes feel like a porno in the sense that if you have watched one, you’ve watched them all. Luckily, the movie knows this and rushes the final two sex scenes (In a five minute span) along in a chopped and edited fast forward. Are the women in this for the female empowerment? Steele is forced into a toxic relationship by being showered with gifts such as a new car and laptop. Seriously, every time there is a conflict, Steele is presented with a new gift. It gets to the point of laughable absurdity. So i am puzzled at what any woman sees in Grey or this story alike. Anastasia is yet another female character who requires a man to be happy, and it’s a trait in Hollywood films that i am absolutely sick of. I would think that in 2015 that we have come a long way in presenting the empowerment of a woman’s prowess and how she uses her beauty as a weapon, but i guess we haven’t come far enough. The film is based off of “Twilight” fan fiction, and it’s clear to see the comparisons. For one, there is a small love triangle present with Anastasia’s friend, Jose. He might as well be called Jacob in this scenario because he reeks of it. The film’s premise is also in Seattle. Sound familiar? Christian takes Anastasia flying and it’s a scene similar to when Edward put Bella on his shoulders while climbing the tree. I could go on forever with the similarities, but i’d rather not. I went into the movie giving it a fair chance, and with the exception of the positives i have already mentioned, there are a couple more. The film is stylishly shot. It’s very well lit with wonderful camera photography. If Vogue Magazine made a film, the visuals would come close to “Fifty Shades of Grey”. I also enjoyed the soundtrack to the film. I’m not a huge Beyonce fan, but her additions for “Haunted” and “Crazy in Love (Remix)” were welcome additions when the toys come out. I also am digging on the newest track by Ellie Goulding, “Love Me Like You Do”. Overall, “Fifty Shades of Grey” isn’t an effort that is going to make me jump at the other sequels that will come out. It gave some surprising artistic directions, but the film’s overall effort left me limp with disappointment at the flacid plot and character development. It doesn’t matter what i say because women are going to see it, so go see it and have the fun that i only did when i laughed at it. Bring on the hate feedback 🙂