Beasts, mortals and kings co-exist together in a world threatened on the heels of armageddon. In “Gods of Egypt”, director Alex Proyas offers his take on mythology in Egypt, with the survival of mankind hanging in the balance. The story is built around an unexpected mortal hero named Bek (Brenton Thwaites) undertakes a thrilling journey to save the world and rescue his true love Zaya (Courtney Eaton). In order to succeed, Bek must enlist the help of the powerful god Horus (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) in an unlikely alliance against Set [Gerard Butler], the merciless god of darkness, who has usurped Egypt’s throne, plunging the once peaceful and prosperous empire into chaos and conflict. As their breathtaking battle against Set and his henchmen takes them into the afterlife and across the heavens, both god and mortal must pass tests of courage and sacrifice if they hope to prevail in the epic final confrontation and return to their homeland among the living. “Gods of Egypt” is rated PG-13 for violence, sexuality and action sequences.

What sets “Gods of Egypt” apart in overall art direction and set design, abandons its originality in a telling of the story that is every bit as unfaithful to the source material as it is ridiculous on CGI backgrounds. On the latter, the creature designs for this movie had me laughing unintentionally at just how truly dreadful they were not only in design, but in the shadowing when compared to skin effects like the sun and buildings surrounding it. There were literally no shadows to offset any doubt in my mind that these creatures could very well be a part of such a place. I have heard a lot on Egyptian mythology, but nothing here felt authentic. They look like Playstation circa 1997 monsters, and their computer movements looked stalled when compared to the quick editing cuts of the action around them. In addition to this, the movie makes the hilarious decision to make the gods four feet taller than the mortals. I don’t have a problem with this in moral because that is the way the stories are told, but my problem is in the mastering of a physical presentation that shows we still have a long way to go to make this sort of thing look believable. Thwaites stands next to Coster-Waldau several times throughout the film, and its clear that the editors forgot to add in this shrinking effect because they are locked eye-to-eye. This makes those occasional wide angle shots when they stand next to each other that much more embarassing to the very idea of it.

On the subject of more camera tricks and methods, I absolutely loathed the way the fight sequences were shot in this movie. If it isn’t enough that our gods are flying all over the screen, their designs make it very difficult to understand who is hurting who. You have to realize that these fighters aren’t in human form when this is happening, these are two (What can only be described as) Pharoah dogs lunging at each other. On top of this is the decision to shoot everything close and tight so the audience can’t follow blow by blow. This is a big problem that I have always had with action films, and its made even worse when the defining traits of each character’s animal forms are so similar.

The script is kind of all over the place in tone and material. The movie treats the Gods like the first Marvel superheroes, and while that makes sense to a certain degree, it takes a toll on the logic of life and death for the movie. Halfway through the movie you realize that death to these characters don’t really mean anything, especially considering we get no emotional response from a certain love interest’s death in the opening fifteen minutes of the movie. Fear not though because the film would rather focus on the X-Men that it has built for itself, as opposed to this crippling love story that actually resonated feelings within me. This was rare because there was very little in this film that left me intrigued to the point of moving out of my lazy position stretched out in my seat. The film has a run time of two hours exactly, and you really start to feel that dragging feeling during the second act in which several scenes repeat each other. This movie badly needs an edit button, and if possible in post production, the film might’ve not been as uneven, showcasing a final showdown that felt like a trip across the desert to get there.

Gerard Butler is probably the only performance that really drew interest out of me. Set is a son of a bitch when it comes to his hunger for power and immortality, and he never fails to jump at the opportunity to hurt those who love him. Butler is rarely the vilain of a movie, so it was nice to see some of that cowardice charisma spill out of him. The film kind of forgets about his character halfway through, and this is where the dragging I mentioned earlier really comes into play. My lack of interest in Thwaites or the especially dull Coster-Waldau had me rooting on the film’s antagonist, and wanting more screen time for him simply because he was the only one who showed hurt, anger or any kind of emotional trait. The lack of color in cast has been something that has earned this film a negative reputation, and after seeing the film I can kind of understand that stance. Besides a brief cameo by Chadwick Boseman, the film is dominated by white leads that don’t offer even the slightest belief in Egyptian descent. Even more insulting is the overwhelming nature of black males and females that serve as nothing more than background table dressing.

“Gods of Egypt” is the kind of film that gives February its wreched reputation. It’s a poorly acted, dull, green-screened mess that should be premiering on the SyFy network. I compare the film to a mushroom cloud of radiation; pretty to look at, but deadly for your overall health.

3/10