A bickering family gets together to celebrate what could be their final Christmas together, in “Love The Coopers”. When four generations of the Cooper clan come together for their annual Christmas Eve celebration, a series of unexpected visitors and unlikely events turn the night upside down, leading them all toward a surprising rediscovery of family bonds and the spirit of the holiday season. While conjuring up the right words to properly kick off my review, i am reminded of a line said by Olivia Wilde in the film. “It’s sad because it’s funny. It’s funny because it’s sad”. If this line of dialogue leaves you in question, then don’t worry, you’re not alone. “Love The Coopers” is an awful dread of holiday muck, combined with a surprisingly dry tone that leaves the audience in question as to whether they should be laughing or crying.

If you watched this trailer and laughed even once, congratulations. That will be the only laugh that you receive the entire movie, as the film’s comedic schtick is used in the trailers for 90% of it’s inventory. Truth be told, i wasn’t expecting much coming into this movie, but i did expect to get at least a couple of slapstick comedy scenes that would even serve as a reminder to the days of my own dysfunctional family. This movie had zero inkling of even the slightest identity of my family, and it certainly shouldn’t for anyone else’s. The Coopers are detestable people, and you should make no mistake about that. Their joke of real world problems are completely miniscule, and are all solved conveniently within the final ten minutes because the plot asks for them to be. The movie lays zero fear or worry in it’s audience, and this is because you know everything is going to be wrapped up perfectly because it’s a Christmas movie. God forbid a movie have guts and actually showcase a real American family with real problems. Even with all of this aside, none of the resolutions led me to believe that this family was going to be any better after the credits roll. Their resolve and final goodbyes are about as fake as the snowflakes that fall outside of their window. A lot of the time, their back and forth arguments became too much for me to take, and I was ready to accept anything other than this dinner table mess. Olivia Wilde is a severe bitch to Jake Lacey because she has decided to sleep with a married doctor. Logic? John Goodman and Diane Keaton are going through a rough patch and thinking of a divorce. This subplot comes out of nowhere, and were never given reason why. Logic? Alan Arkin and Amanda Seyrfried hint at a romantic relationship despite a more than thirty year age difference between them, but then the film is too ashamed to go through with it. Logic?

The movie’s story isn’t a terrible one, as long as it would’ve stayed with one character for more than three minutes. The movie has a wonderful cast of real heavy hitters like John Goodman, June Squibb, Olivia Wilde, Diane Keaton, Ed Helms, Marisa Tomei, Jake Lacey, Amanda Seyfried, and Alan Arkin, but there are too many stories that often collide with one another. The movie feels like a less charasmatic version of the movies like “New Years Eve” or “Valentine’s Day”, which pack as many stars as they can into the movie to make up for it’s lack of compelling storytelling. The camera edits shift far too many times to ever give us enough time to invest in any particular character. It’s funny because i spent 100 minutes with these characters, and i don’t feel like i ever truly learned anything about them. Goodman and Squibb were responsible for the couple of mute laughs that i did have, and i give them loads of credit because they are trying their hardest despite the material.

What worried me about the film a couple of times was that this was a religious film hidden under a blanket of quirky comedy for the whole family. The movie decides to bring up religion on more than one occasion, and it totally comes out of left field. Lacey is insulted by Wilde because he believes in God, so a lot of the focus on their relationship is for Lacey to convince Wilde that she is wrong. He’s supposed to be falling in love with this girl keep in mind. If the film’s story would’ve combined more characters into each branch of story, the film would’ve paced itself better, and none of these stories which leads to very little wouldn’t have felt like a waste. The reason i give a movie like this a 3 instead of something lower is because it’s not truly offensive. I have seen much worse in terms of film this year, and “Love The Coopers” is only guilty of being a waste of time. A movie like this will certainly have an audience in older crowds and families alike. I can safely say that no one in my theater ever got louder than mild laughter, so I don’t know how well this will do in the longrun. To sum it all up, if you have to see this movie, wait till DVD. These are characters who tread greatly on offensive ground and think their problems are the biggest things going on in the world. Do they honestly deserve your money? “Love The Coopers”? No thank you, I’ll love my wallet instead.

3/10