The origins of Peter Pan and some of his greatest friends and enemies are told in Joe Wright’s first directed effort since “Anna Karenina”. “Pan” is the story of an orphan (Levi Miller) who is kidnapped and taken away to the magical Neverland. There, he finds both fun and dangers, and ultimately discovers his destiny; to become the hero who will be forever known as Peter Pan, and save Neverland from the torture clutches of Blackbeard (Hugh Jackman).

Where I feel that “Pan” failed most of all, was in it’s lack of identity and familiar magic that rightly makes this a Peter Pan film. There are too many other action movie tropes borrowed here from films like “Man of Steel” and even “Star Wars”. They offset the feeling of this movie being a fairytale, and even in a way that lacks creativity to try to tell an alternative take on these characters. The film is terribly miscast, and a lot of that falls on Garrett Hedlund and Jackman as the two male leads of the film. Hedlund plays James Hook, and to anyone who knows little about this character, the portrayal of him in “Pan” will make him feel an uninteresting as possible. There were a lot of times during the film where Hedlund is either drunk or doing the single worst pirate impression that i have ever seen. It feels like you’re at a hangout with friends, and someone tells you to mock the pirate culture to it’s cliche core. The voice is strange, especially given the fact that there are many scenes when he speaks normal and it feels like his character is coming down from the cartoon version that he supplies in the opening half hour. My problem with Jackman was more on his line deliveries. There is a lot here to believe that Jackman had fun with the role, but his authoritarian delivery did more in my efforts to keep laughing at his character, instead of fearing him. We never feel the real connection between he and Peter that leads this movie to the big battle conclusion that the Hook feud took Peter to. Rooney Mara is decent as Tiger Lily, despite that her character is for a Native American woman. She feels very wooden emotionally a lot of the time, but makes up for it in excellent swordsmanship during the scenes where the film moves the most fluently. Miller was really a charm as Peter. His portrayal is believable because he plays Peter as a mischievous little boy searching for something better in a bleak world. The film’s best moments are seen through the eyes of it’s main character, and that may seem obvious for my readers, but it’s a tough task that this eleven year old has to pull off. He cleverly excels in outperforming his adult counterparts, and should be a heavy hitter for years to come.

I want to talk a little bit about the CGI because it ruined a lot of the artistic touches that i found intriguing about this film. Many of the scenes feel so fake and uninspiring. I almost wonder why this film wasn’t just an animated feature anyway, considering most of the backgrounds don’t mesh well with what very little practical effects and human touches that vibrate off of it. One scene in particular showed twin mermaids (Both played by Cara Delevigne) with possibly the very worst face cut and paste i have ever seen. It’s clear that Cara didn’t even have to get into costume for this role, and it takes away the imagination of the people who work hard and don’t get enough credit; the costume designers. I really enjoyed what real touches that they supplied for the film, and it makes me even more clueless as to why certain liberties were taken with a financial budget, while others were done as fast and easy as possible. The colors of Neverland were the only parts of the movie where it feels genuinely like we have been transported again, and the little touches of colorful smoke the poof up when one of them dies is a beautiful tragedy on the fields of battle.

Another thing that amazed me for the worst, was two very interesting song choices played in Neverland. “Smells like Teen Spirit” by Nirvana, as well as “Blitzkrieg Bop” by The Ramones is given an almost arena chant to the echoes of the starved slave children of Neverland, and it feels more like a montonous Kidz Bop offering, instead of a harrowing tribute.

Overall, “Pan” is a sloppy re-imagining of one of history’s greatest fables. A prequel to Peter Pan simply isn’t necessary because these are the uninteresting times of Peter’s life. He barely flies, he fears everyone and everything, and he seeks inspiration from others instead of leading by example. It’s clear to see why this film was pushed back for two months, as this film would’ve gotten easily lost in the shuffle of Summer time blockbusters. As it stands, I can’t see this film being memorable for even anyone who enjoyed it. The movie (like it’s main character) will disappear into thin air, never to be heard from again.

4/10