Fox’s latest attempt at the superhero genre has been met with plenty of negative feedback, but just how bad is the latest reboot, ‘Fantastic Four’? There is very little good about this film, and a lot of it stems on sloppy film making that feels anything but fantastic. It centers on four young scientists who teleport to an alternate and dangerous universe, which alters their physical form in shocking ways. Their lives irrevocably upended, the team must learn to harness their daunting new abilities and work together to save Earth from a former friend turned enemy. I left this film with an even worse taste in my mouth than the horrors that i had predicted for it a year prior to it’s release. The film’s production troubles have been very well documented online lately, and while it is quite obvious that this movie suffered from vicious scene cuts, i have to grade the project that is laid upon my critic desk. Even said, the scene cuts are far from the only thing wrong with this degrading slop to any Marvel Comics fan. First of all, there is the poor casting choices for the movie. Many people were worried about Michael B Jordan as Johnny Storm because of the color of his skin, but he is the only positive i took away from a cast that was dry, dull, and lacked any kind of background structure. Jordan adds the kind of welcome charisma to the other three actors who couldn’t talk their way out of a paper bag. His fire effects were also the only positive note that i took away from the cheap CGI effects that plagued the film. Miles Teller plays Reid Richards, and usually i am a big fan of his filmography. In this film, i couldn’t be further from that status. Richards feels like the one true villain in this film, forcing his best friend into a nightmarish freak accident, as well as cost the life of another guy who returns with twenty minutes left to be the film’s hired villain. Kate Mara makes Jessica Alba that much more memorable, and i HATED Jessica Alba in the Sue Storm role. Mara at all times looks and sounds like she is reading slowly off of cue cards that are right around the corner. i felt zero romantic chemistry between her and Richards, as the movie never once has an intimate scene between them. If that isn’t enough, none of the Fantastic Four ever feel like a family, and that is a huge mistake when talking about Marvel’s most tight knitted family. If anyone gets screwed in this film the most, it’s Viktor Von Doom. His CGI look after his mutation is the VERY worst design for a comic book character that i have ever seen. He has powers that are unfaithful to the comic books, and the final fight between he and the Fantastic Four is laughably short,considering the movie builds and builds for this big showdown that does nothing but disappoint. One would think that we have come decades in CGI technology, especially with a film with a 125 million dollar budget, but this film’s effects feel every bit as bad as a movie filmed in 1995. Is there at least positive storytelling? HELL NO!!! That’s the worst part of the movie. The film feels completely rushed with the first hour of the movie being dedicated to the build up before the big accident. I did appreciate Director Josh Trank’s attempt at telling an origin story from where Richards and Ben Grimm were children, but the movie flash forwards in such vicious takes, that i often found myself searching for timeline answers despite screen text helping me out. The movie just has no heart, as evidence by it’s anything but natural tone compared to it’s lighthearted comic feel. It all feels too grim and serious for any comic fan, let alone child to ever add to their superhero DVD library. ‘Fantastic Four’ will be remembered for it’s destruction of the remaining pieces from the awful 2000 decade films destruction. The story is chopped up, the characters have no heart, so therefore we never care about them or their surroundings, and the terrible effects are so transparent that it creates a clash with the real world setting in favor of a cartoon looking world where nothing looks appealing production-wise. I hated almost every single thing about this film, and i think it’s a shame that in 2015 we still have to worry about caliber-like films among the same discussion as trash like ‘Elektra’, ‘Catwoman’, and ‘Batman and Robin’. The Fantastic Four watch over our world, but who watches over theirs for a future that seems anything but fantastic?

2/10