Riddick

 

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7.5/10

I really enjoyed this sequel to Pitch Black and The Chronicles of Riddick. In my opinion, this film is more similar to the style in Pitch Black. It’s rated R, and the storylines of the two films are very similar. There were of course some very enjoyable differences. This film has the best characters of the three films. The acting is a little dull with a couple of them, but i haven’t cared about characters fate as much as i do in this one. That cast is led by Katie Sackoff, who i think is the best character in the film. She is kind of like a female Riddick without all of the cliche’s. She is definitely the biggest badass female i have seen in cinema this year. I also enjoyed the ending as i felt it gave something different to this trilogy. I was worried that this film’s ending was going to fall in the same category as the other two, but it gave a little twist at the end that made you keep from rolling your eyes. I thought the CGI of the landscape looked great at night, but very fake during the day shots. I think Riddick films work better at night anyway because that is what he is all about. If there is a fourth film in the series, i would like to see a movie completely at night time. The monsters in this movie were very original and packed a lethal punch to give Riddick a hard fight. I recommend this film to fans of the series and action buffs alike. There are parts that will have you rolling your eyes at the believability, but come on, it’s a Vin Diesel movie.

You’re Next

 

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4.5/10

This film just didn’t do it for me. Maybe i will be wrong about this one and people will enjoy it after they watch it. There is certainly enough to like about this film. It has an amazing female lead who is tough to the core and has no problems defending herself. It has a good setting in a creepy mansion in the countryside. That certainly makes for some eerie scenes. It has an amazing score which at times took you back to an 80’s horror suspense. Finally, it had a great setup. When you find out who the killers are, you realize that it is a great idea for a movie. The problem is that i didn’t really care about the killers when i found out who they were because i haven’t been given enough time to care. The movie starts with two quick murders and then slows down for the better part of 20 minutes. It shows us a fight with a family and then the murders start again. So basically, these characters whine about the dumbest things and seem like rich snobs. Not exactly a stereotype we can all sympathize with. I also felt they were a little sluggish with the death scenes. Some of the murders are shown, but a couple were given the camera-away shot with the violence. The acting and dialogue were awful. These are the dumbest characters in a movie maybe ever. They know that three masked people are shooting arrows at them from outside, but still want to run outside because they feel they have a good chance to get away from them. The ending is kind of abrupt and doesn’t give the greatest answer with what happens. I would really be curious in having other people watch this film and see what they think. My two friends liked the movie, and thought it was good. Maybe i am just a tough judge when it comes to horror because it is my favorite genre, and the genre i grew up on. I certainly could understand if someone liked this film, but it’s just not for me. As a result, i can’t really recommend this film, but i would like to get some opinions from other people who have seen it. Please post if you do

Escape From Tomorrow

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.5/10

WOW!!! What the hell did i just watch? Disney World is put under a dark side in this film that resembles Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. For those of you who don’t know this film was shot entirely guerilla style at Disney World without Disney’s permission. Because the film changes the music in the background, it does qualify as legal use. Disney have distanced themselves from this film and i totally understand why. First of all, the good things. It does have a decent premise that would have been much better under a different and more experienced director. They were going for the whole secret side of Disney thing here, and i can get behind that. It’s execution is done so weird and pointless that you wonder what the hell you just watched. The acting (Even for amateurs) is pathetic. I am going to go on a limb and say anyone associated with this film will probably never work in cinema again. I also liked the music in the background of the film. I think that some of the music mixed with the beautiful noir black and white shots makes for some enjoyable moments. The problem is that those moments are few and far between. This is one of those movies so bad that it has to be seen to be believed. I find it amazing how they filmed this whole movie on Canon cameras and Iphones because some of the shots leave you wondering how the hell they did that. I just wish more effort would have been put to the actual script itself. I never thought i would see one of the best films i have ever seen and one of the worst in the same week, but i am far past surprised in this business, anymore

The Conjuring

 

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7.5/10

I really enjoyed this horror/suspense movie about a family that is the victims of a possession. Based on a true story, this film has been receiving mostly positive reviews with even some comparing it to The Exorcist. Personally, i thought the film was done really well with great acting and a lot of visuals that make the non-horror fan very scared. I don’t think deep horror fans (like myself) will be that scared or bothered by this film. I found 2012’s Sinister a little more bothering to me. That doesn’t mean that this film doesn’t deserve the praise it’s getting. The Conjuring tells a very creepy story that makes you wonder how this family is ever going to get out of it. Some of the negatives of the film was the weak body count and a somewhat anti-climatic ending. Some of the positives was the great acting led by Vera Farmiga as a psychic with the ability to see demons.Also, i don’t praise child actors often, but i thought they were outstanding in this film. All five of the children add something to a great formula. I also think the musical score is one of the best of the year. I think the music in particular is where a lot of the comparisons to past horror films comes from. I would recommend this film to horror fans new and old who are looking for a recipe on horror films done right. There have been many done wrong in the last 15 years, but The Conjuring is one that we will be talking about for years to come.

World War Z

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8/10

This is the happiest i have been after an original zombie film since 2003 (28 Days Later). The world is overrun by disease infected zombies in this end of the world drama. I say “disease infected” because this film treats the zombie epidemic as a disease…..and it works. It’s nice to see a film take an old idea and make it fresh again with the psychology and not the killings of zombies. That is what makes World War Z different; the zombies infect, not kill. Some of the scenes were amazingly scored by rock legends Muse, which only adds to a heart dropping scene like the one in the plane. Things i didn’t like about this film was the camera work. I got a headache watching this film that took me back to Die Hard 5 earlier this year. Shaky cam work doesn’t always have to be a stable in an action scene. I know why they do it, but just shoot the scene and leave it at that. I also had a dispute with the ending, but because of spoilers i can’t get into that. Brad Pitt is just ok as the lead in this film, nothing good or bad. I felt that a no namer could’ve done just as well, but it probably wouldn’t have sold in that perspective. Overall, i recommend this film in theaters but not in 3D. Outside of the plane scene, i didn’t feel it added anything great.

The Purge

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6/10

First off, i didn’t like or hate this movie. The difference with this movie as opposed to The Lords of Salem is that this film had the potential to be great. During the first 70 minutes, it is a good film. It gives a great build-up right to the point of the bad people breaking into the house. From there, it’s like the writers didn’t know how to follow in the last 20 minutes. There is a twist ending that gives the film life again, but they abandon it for an ending that is both predictable and corny. This film is enriched with good performances by Ethan Hawke and the leader of the creepy outsiders, Rhys Wakefield. The movie oozes in symbolism for the way we do things in our current society just to prove a point. This isn’t one of the finer points of the film. Finally, i finished the film wondering how all criminals and murderers obide by rules made by our founding fathers. THEY ARE MURDERERS!!! THERE ARE NO RULES FOR THEM!!!! I would recommend this film if you have a dollar theater in your town. Other than that, i wouldn’t waste your time in theaters.

The Lords of Salem

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1/10

I WANT MY 96 MINUTES BACK!!!! Where do i start with this horrible sack of shit? Rob Zombie’s 5th film feature tells the tale of a bunch of 17th century witches who haunt the dreams of Sherri Moon Zombie because there is a certain something they want from her. This movie was a complete waste of anything that has to do with film. The only thing i liked about the movie was Bruce Davidson and he dies with about 20 minutes left in the movie. Sherri Moon Zombie is a completely terrible actress. I don’t care if she is Rob Zombie’s wife or that she shows her naked body in every movie that she is in. If she never acted again, it would be one of the great justices that the American people ever experienced. This movie goes down in history with some of my other all-time nightmares like The Wicker Man, Fear Dot Com and The Ring. The one thing i can say about those movies though, is that at least they had a decent premise. I’m not saying this is the worst movie i have ever seen, but it’s pretty damn close. At the end of the day, i am not sure what genre this belongs to. There isn’t enough blood or gore for it to be a horror movie. There isn’t enough mystery or edge of the seat moments for it to be suspense. The movie’s ending is probably only 2nd to The Devil Inside as far as worst all time endings are concerned. I don’t recommend this film in theaters or DVD rental. If you even have the chance to get a free download, JUST SAY NO. Whatever movie i review next is going to look like The Shawshank Redemption compared to this piece of shit.

Scary Movie 5

 

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2.5/10

This movie is close to being the worse film of the year for me. If not for the catastrophe that was Movie 43, this film would definitely make history as not only the worst film of the year, but of the last five years easily. With the exception of one scene, i didn’t laugh one time in this entire film. It’s a shame because the first two Scary Movie’s were actually really good and filled with laughs. This franchise has been on a down slope since getting rid of the Wayans Brothers. This film makes the movie A Haunted House look like Casablanca. Most of the movies represented in this film aren’t horror movies at all and they don’t put any effort in hiding that fact. The oddest thing to me was the fact that almost NONE of the scenes that were shown in the trailers were in the movie. I guess they all went on the chopping block because they are nowhere to be found. This movie clocks in at 75 measly minutes that feel like a lifetime. There were many points when i almost gave up. I don’t recommend this film for anyone; not even the biggest mindless idiots walking the planet. Nobody will or SHOULD like this movie

Evil Dead (2013)

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8/10

Really great horror movie that was a non stop gorefest. I really enjoyed the references to the original movies and the creative ways they accomplished it. I recommend this movie as a movie that you don’t really take seriously but a movie that you go to have fun with your friends. The only things i didn’t like were the cast. I couldn’t care less what happened to them. There were also certain things that were done by a nail gun and a chainsaw that i couldn’t believe, but i will bitch about that more later. I totally recommend this film to everyone.

Warm Bodies

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5/10

The first hour of this movie had something decent going for it. The last half hour is the tale of a completely different movie. First of all the things that i liked, great soundtrack, John Malkovich was great as usual but he didn’t get a lot of time for his role. I also enjoyed the characters of the bonies, but felt that they were too easy to defeat. The things i didn’t like about this movie? the acting is awful, the relationship between father and daughter is one of the hardest to believe of any movie i have ever seen, zombies were very close to being ruined in this film like vampires were ruined in Twilight. I heard so much positivity about this movie and it ended up being one of the worst films that i have seen this year. I have left some questions at the bottom that are some of the errors that i found with the film. I recommend this film to females because they might get a kick out of the love story. I honestly can’t imagine that a male zombie/horror fan will like any piece of this.1. His friend sure learned quickly how to talk when the action started, yet all of the years and hangouts that they had in the bar they never said one word. Keep in mind, this was before the zombie army met the girl.2. Why can he fight fast, but not walk fast?3. It’s not safe to go outside of the airplane, but it’s ok to drive a car 90 MPH outside of the airplane and make louder noises??4. THEY ARE ZOMBIES!!!! This friendship with the humans will never work because they need brains of humans to survive. Even for that short time before they are cured, they would be hungry

Mama

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5/10

This movie was really disappointing for me. For the last two weeks, i heard nothing but positive reviews about how this film was different from the shock-horror that they have given us for the last decade. This movie was so far beyond stupid that i can’t even fathom what i did with the last 93 minutes. The ending (which i won’t spoil) was so terrible that i can’t even believe that they wanted us to be ok with it. The only things that brought it up from a 3 or 4 was the performance of child-actress Megan Charpentier, and the amazing visual effects that made Mama look real chilling. Other than that, TOTAL CRAP. It’s not the worst movie i have seen this year, but it’s pretty damn close