Elysium

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5/10

I still don’t know what the hell i just watched. Matt Damon and Jodie Foster star in possibly the biggest bomb of the summer (my opinion). This film had a very confusing storyline, slow paced movement among the storylines and a weak ending. You could pretty much predict what happens in the film just by watching the trailer. There were a couple of things i enjoyed and that was the performances of Jodie Foster as the head of security on Elysium. She really brings a lot to the role as a snob who is trying to keep the poor class off of her land. I also enjoyed Sharlto Copley as the rugged bad guy, Krueger. The film also has some decent action scenes, but that is it. The problems with this film are the symbolism it expresses with our own world of overpopulation and a snobbish rich class. I am not saying that there is anything wrong with symbolism, but it was poured on WAY too thick in this film. Elysium is a look at the future that takes you on a ride through a look at the future. The problem with that look is that it only gets exciting in the final 20 minutes. It is within that time frame that we finally land on Elysium. Anything before that, is a long and boring look at characters in which we don’t ever receive a decent back story with. I don’t recommend Elysium unless you are a die hard Matt Damon fan. Even then, it would be hard for me to believe you would enjoy this.

The Bling Ring

 

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5/10

This chronicles the story of the celebs whose houses were robbed in 2009 by a group of out of control teenagers. The film is ok, but it is pushed further because of the great cast it is. The movie played out like a made for TV film, and maybe that would’ve been a better medium for it. Emma Watson and Katie Chang were amazing. They really made the most out of these spoiled girls that broke into people’s houses for no reason except to live their lifestyle. I compared this film a lot to this year’s Spring Breakers. I think The Bling Ring is a better movie, but the comparisons are very striking. The camera shots were also done very well with many of the break ins being recorded like a security camera. One of the biggest things for me to believe is that no security or anyone close to the celebs were in the house while these people were out of town. This is based on a true story, so i know the break-ins were a real part of the story, but how do you not have someone watching your house? The story just doesn’t have enough meat to carry a film through 90 minutes, so it’s injected with a lot of club shots where we see the kids enjoying their victories. We could care less about those moments, and just wait for when they are caught. One final thing i will say that worked in the film’s benefit was that it showed how easy it is to learn the things we need to from celebrity addresses to actual views of their houses. All of this is supplied by the internet, and that is a scary thing. The Bling Ring is something i would recommend to people who follow celebrity tabloids, but it’s hard for this film to keep you entertained for 90 minutes.

The Internship

 

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5/10

This film bored me to the point of stopping four times to pause along the way. Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson return to try to catch that lightning in a bottle that they did with Wedding Crashers. The problem with this film is that even though it is classified as a comedy, it simply isn’t. I laughed twice during the whole film, and even that was generous. The storyline of two 40 year old’s trying to get into Google is simply too dull to warrant a near 2 hour film. Vince and Owen play two of the biggest douchebag characters that are so hard to like and understand. These are supposed to be the two guys we cheer for, but they continue to cost and hurt the people around them because they try to always say the cool thing. I enjoyed the decent inside look at the Google campus, and thought that this could’ve been a pretty cool educational film. But the atmosphere just doesn’t work for comedy. I recommend this film as a Redbox rental, but nothing more. Don’t waste your time in theaters.

The Hangover 3

 

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5/10

If there is one major problem that plagues this film it is boring.Compared to the other two films, nothing major happens in this one. This will make it easily forgettable in 15 years when people look back on the series. The movie genre is a comedy, but it never gives you more than a light chuckle or two. To me, this seems more like a drama because of the touching aspects like the death of Alan’s father and the loss of friendship. Zach Galafanakis has gotten to the point where every role is the same. I loved him more in movies like The original Hangover and Due Date, but this role is old and played out. It’s the same for Ken Jeong who plays Leslie Chow. Positive aspects of this movie is the performance of John Goodman. He really rocked it as the villain in this film and usually any more he is in. I only recommend this film if you have seen the other two so you can finish out the series. By recommended, i mean to just wait until DVD. It’s definitely not worth the $10 movie ticket.

A Good Day To Die Hard

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5.5/10

A problematic action packed film that will easily be forgotten in the Die Hard series. While i don’t think this is the worst Die Hard of the series (Die Hard 2), i do feel like this is going to be the one that people will have the hardest time remembering. This is because nothing amazing happens in the film that will define the series. The action was great as always and there was a great twist towards the end of the film, but it doesn’t go much further than that. I enjoyed the work of Jai Courtney when he wasn’t being a sniveling crybaby whining about his dad never being there. The setting for the final shootout is so unbelievable even by Die Hard standards that it’s hard to take seriously. I would recommend waiting for DVD on this one for all of you Die Hard fans. I still think 1 and 3 are the only ones i truly enjoyed of the series

Warm Bodies

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5/10

The first hour of this movie had something decent going for it. The last half hour is the tale of a completely different movie. First of all the things that i liked, great soundtrack, John Malkovich was great as usual but he didn’t get a lot of time for his role. I also enjoyed the characters of the bonies, but felt that they were too easy to defeat. The things i didn’t like about this movie? the acting is awful, the relationship between father and daughter is one of the hardest to believe of any movie i have ever seen, zombies were very close to being ruined in this film like vampires were ruined in Twilight. I heard so much positivity about this movie and it ended up being one of the worst films that i have seen this year. I have left some questions at the bottom that are some of the errors that i found with the film. I recommend this film to females because they might get a kick out of the love story. I honestly can’t imagine that a male zombie/horror fan will like any piece of this.1. His friend sure learned quickly how to talk when the action started, yet all of the years and hangouts that they had in the bar they never said one word. Keep in mind, this was before the zombie army met the girl.2. Why can he fight fast, but not walk fast?3. It’s not safe to go outside of the airplane, but it’s ok to drive a car 90 MPH outside of the airplane and make louder noises??4. THEY ARE ZOMBIES!!!! This friendship with the humans will never work because they need brains of humans to survive. Even for that short time before they are cured, they would be hungry

Stand Up Guys

 

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5/10

I really wanted to like this movie. Al Pacino is one of my all-time favorite actors, but he seemed to be on sleep mode during this movie. There were parts of it i liked like the last 20 minutes and the building of the tension that he must be killed by his best friend. The ending is completely anti climatic and leaves more questions than answers. If you see this movie, don’t expect much except for Al Pacino and Christopher Walken doing a 93 minute comedy routine.

Mama

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5/10

This movie was really disappointing for me. For the last two weeks, i heard nothing but positive reviews about how this film was different from the shock-horror that they have given us for the last decade. This movie was so far beyond stupid that i can’t even fathom what i did with the last 93 minutes. The ending (which i won’t spoil) was so terrible that i can’t even believe that they wanted us to be ok with it. The only things that brought it up from a 3 or 4 was the performance of child-actress Megan Charpentier, and the amazing visual effects that made Mama look real chilling. Other than that, TOTAL CRAP. It’s not the worst movie i have seen this year, but it’s pretty damn close

Texas Chainsaw 3D

 

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5.5/10

To tell you what i didn’t like about this movie would give away spoilers, so i will just list the positives. I loved the fact that it added something more to the Chainsaw saga unlike the last three movies. I also liked who played the bad guy in this movie. Leatherface looked the toughest he has been since the 2nd film (1985), and that is one of the most important things in my view. 3rd best Chainsaw film (in my opinion) of the seven. Also, since it is the first movie of 2013 that i have seen, it is currently my #1 movie of the year

Parental Guidance

 

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5.5/10

Not a bad little movie for the family. Billy Crystal brings his status quo of wit and charm to a slapstick movie that is a little different for him. I did only give this film a 5.5 because it does have some problems. This just doesn’t seem like the kind of film Crystal is normally in. It does have it’s wits and charms, but the film seems more along the lines of a Kevin James or Adam Sandler film. I understand Crystal was cast because of the age of the character, but his kind of humor almost seems outdated in a film like this. The casting is also a bit of an issue with Marisa Tomei playing Crystal’s daughter. Billy is 16 years older than Marisa in real life and Tomei looks almost to old to play the daughter in this film. It’s a shame that Thomas Everitt Scott is left with nothing to do in this film. He is someone who i have come to admire a lot in the last 15 years as an actor, but he almost never stars in a film. Parental Guidance had a couple parts that put more of a smile on my face than a laugh. Not sure if that is what the director was going for, but i look at this as more of a cute film than a funny one. The kids were a perfect fit for the movie. Bailee Madison is slowly taking over as one of the better child stars, today. If you have a family night, i recommend giving this a shot. I think it’s a film that the adults and the kids will get a kick out of.