Think Like a Man Too

MV5BMjE2NjMxNjU1OF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwMTI1OTgxMTE@__V1_SX214_AL_

5/10

This sequel to the 2012 original shows you the magic of Hollywood when it cuts up the best parts to put into a trailer and leaves you with a tired premise that is seen in every film about Vegas ever.It all feels like a poor excuse for the cast to splurge in Vegas with non stop celebrity cameos to keep the bored observer interested. Kevin Hart and the gang return to celebrate the wedding of two friends in the group (Regina Hall and Terence Cowrley) by going to Las Vegas and having the ultimate bachelor and bachelorette parties. It was strange to me just how similar this film was to Saved By The Bell : Zach and Kelly’s Wedding. As the scenes unfolded, i found myself able to predict each one almost comedically. By this point in his career, Kevin Hart has reached popularity of epic proportions for someone who started off as a quiet side character in many of his earlier films. In Man Too, he doesn’t have enough to do after exhausting his usual “Short guy” Schtick. By the time we are done with every possible joke that he has, his performance almost turns dramatic. This year’s About Last Night was a good example of what Kevin Hart can do when he is presented with a script that allows him to grow (No pun intended). That film was about a lot more than him flexing his comedic abilities; it showed his audience that this guy can be something more. It’s no secret that i am not a big Kevin Hart fan, and it’s mainly for roles like Think Like a Man Too. There are too many characters between the two groups which never gives leads like Hart and Regina Hall room to shine. If that wasn’t enough, we are treated to another movie with that one white guy in the group who is……..wait for it……WEIRD. Between Director Tim Story and other famously terrible director Tyler Perry, i wonder if these guys know how to write white people without being whacky. I am not kidding when i say EVERY SINGLE LINE that comes out of the guy’s mouth is the one that keeps the audience shaking it’s head in lunacy. I have to give this movie credit though, at least he isn’t racist. More craziness happens midway through the film when the female group stops the plot and everything around it to have a Bel Biv Devoe music video. I am dead serious that the movie stops for 5 minutes so the girls can go full R&B star with everything from camera talking to lip synching on a stage with a male dance club as it’s background. That scene is appropriate because that is what the whole film summed up felt like. It was just a bunch of scenes thrown together to see what stuck with no attempt at an ending that was shocking or even entertaining. If there was one thing i enjoyed about this film it would be that they at least attempted to give every character a decent storyline, and not lose them completely in the background. It’s not executed very well though, as it feels too crowded. By the final 20 minutes, we have been through every kind of emotion loud and desperate that we can’t help but look at our watches to see how much time is left. Think Like a Man wasn’t a movie i necessarily enjoyed, but it at least had a great almost novel like structure that was creatively done for the way it was telling it’s story. In this sequel, everything is thrown together on the same page, and it never feels like a sequel beyond the characters. The famous motto goes “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas”. In the forgettable presentation from this talented cast, lets hope that credo rings true. Avoid it like the plague

A Million Ways to Die in the West

MV5BMTQ0NDcyNjg0MV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwMzk4NTA4MTE@__V1_SX214_AL_

5.5/10

Director and star of the movie Seth Macfarlane returns to the silver screen with the anticipated follow up to his 2011 smash hit, Ted. The most surprising thing about A Million Ways to Die in the West is the fact that it’s not a very funny movie. It has it’s cheap laughs, but my biggest problem with Macfarlane’s comedy has always been that his jokes are too drawn out…..FOR WAY TOO LONG. Macfarlane stars as Albert, a sheephearder living in the wild west of Arizona in 1898. Macfarlane is dumped by his girlfriend, Louise (Amanda Seyfried), but falls head over heels for new girl, Anna (Charlize Theron). The problem? Anna has a husband who is the most famous gunslinger in the west, Clinch (Liam Neeson). As i said before, jokes feel drawn out for way too long ruining some legitimately good laughs. The kind of fast paced talking smart man schtick with jokes also doesn’t mix well with the visual slop usually seen in Adam Sandler movies. In this one, there is a vicious diarrhea scene, fecal matter on a child’s pillow, and even being urinated on the face by a sheep. The biggest sin with the laughs that actually work is the fact that they are rendered powerless by a nearly 2 hour run time. By the time the final 20 minutes hit, these jokes feel overused and even exhausting by this point. Macfarlane himself isn’t the kind of guy we can get behind. The underdog story is a good one to use in a old west setting, but Macfarlane is very unlikable and at times annoying. He is the kind of guy who has commentary for everything going on in the town, but has no desire to change any of it. The more a character complains, the more the viewer will roll their eyes. Thank God for his co-stars though, because there are some good performances to recognize. Liam Neeson is by far the best part of this movie. He plays a villain that doesn’t play for jokes once. Neeson is the best when he is himself, and that is exactly who he plays as Clinch. He is every bit the man you see hunting for his family in the Taken films. Neil Patrick Harris is very charasmatic as the rebound man for Macfarlane’s ex-girlfriend. He has a musical number at the saloon that is about moustaches that will be stuck in your head for days. Harris is cocky, but knows how to always look through the screen at the viewer and wink for a smile out of us. Giovanni Ribisi also hands in a buzzworthy performance as Macfarlane’s best friend, Edward. It’s the little things that Ribisi does that has us chuckling. Things like playing a comedic straight man to Macfarlane’s comedic banter. He brings out the best in every scene that he is in. It’s just unfortunate that there aren’t more of those scenes to go around. There is a beautiful score by Joel Mcneely that really takes you back to westerns like Blazing Saddles and The Good, The Bad and The Ugly. He does his magic behind these long shots of beautiful mountains that play to twangy guitars and rusty violins. The setting and wardrobe are very complimentary, so no complaints there. It’s a shame that a movie like this didn’t fully deliver with a trailer that was very well done. I saw this trailer almost every time i went to the movies and was so psyched to see it. It’s not nearly one of the worst movies of the year, but i can’t give a pass to this one. As great as Ted was, A Million Ways to Die in the West will always be known as Macfarlane’s clunker. At times, it tries to be Blazing Saddles with creating the kind of racist and degrading religious jokes that would be taboo 40 years ago, but don’t carry the same weight in a Family Guy society that has already explored that avenue. Saddles was a film that at it’s time was so shocking because it was a white and black male leads that were going nose to nose with slander jabs that didn’t often make it to the big screen. It’s a different age in a different era, and A Million Ways to Die in the West is a long joke about how it sucked to live in the wild west…..A very long joke.

Blended

MV5BNzc2ODI5NjAyMl5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwMzIyOTE4MDE@__V1_SX214_AL_

5/10

Adam Sandler’s latest off screen vacation shows him making a movie in the setting of Africa. Sandler stars as a widowed father to three girls while trying to step back into the dating world. Drew Barrymore is his first date, and she carries two boys of her own. When you get past the obvious Brady Bunch kind of storyline that this film has to it, there is a lot of positives and negatives to talk about. After coming out of it, i have to say that i didn’t hate the movie as much as i thought i would. With that said, it’s still not a good film at all. It just has a lot to appreciate. One of those things is that it’s not as terrible as three of his latest efforts in Grown Ups 2, That’s My Boy and the painfully awful Jack and Jill. Blended is a two headed dragon that is trying to be two kinds of films at once and only succeeding at one. It fails as a comedy for a lot of the typical reasons Sandler films do these days. It’s childish, slapstick, and loses any kind of moral compass by the opening frame in a toilet (appropriate eh?), or the scene an hour in when rhino’s are having sex. There are many convenient openings for jokes that will make the clear headed viewer roll their eyes. One scene in particular has a character named Dick dating Drew Barrymore’s best friend, Jen (Wendy Mclendon-Covey). Adam Sandler comes across an online rumor of Barrymore and Covey being lesbian lovers, and the joke comes when Jen tells Barrymore “I am done with dick”. Get it? it’s funny because Sandler just called her a lesbian two minutes ago.Every joke just feels like it was written in a board room with the most juvenile setup. I also don’t understand how Sandler and Barrymore are able to take their family of 7 on Sandler’s bosses trip to Africa when his reservation was only for 6 total people. A Sandler fan will say “Well it’s easy to make those reservations change”. And while that may be true for a plane ride, the WHOLE TRIP has already been planned. I am talking hotel, activities and even chairs at the dinner table. I laughed about 5 times total throughout the whole movie and those were light chuckles. Most of the laughs come from Terry Crewes as the entertainer in Africa who follows the families everywhere they go on the trip blending his african music with comedic lyrics. Other than Crewes who is always electric, the kids of the families provide the other laughs. It’s cute little kid laughs that add to the second head of this beast. More on that later. The one part that gave me a legit laugh was a cameo by Allen Covert as Ten Second Tom. For those of you who remember 50 First Dates, that character makes a funny cameo that sort of draws the two films worlds together.. That second head that i referred to is the one that succeeds as a family movie. I knew the film was rated PG-13 coming into my screening, but i was very surprised with how tame this movie was considering all of the crude parts were used for the trailer. Underneath the crude, there is a genuine heart felt story just dying to be told. Barrymore carries the load for this genre as she has a deep bonding with Sandler’s kids. Even Sandler’s backstory with his wife’s passing puts the pieces in place for you to root for these two characters to get together by the end. There are two things that ruin this. One is that Sandler is still a jerk as he is in all of his movies. He once again insults family, friends and anyone else in order to be the hip guy of the film. It makes the viewer wonder why someone as great as Barrymore would ever get with him. The second problem is the chemistry of Sandler and Barrymore. Plenty of Sandler-holics will tell me that the chemistry of the two leads are still there and it was just as good as 50 First Dates and The Wedding Singer. To that, i say they are correct……kind of. The chemistry is definitely there, but it feels like more of a friendship chemistry than a romantic one. I understand that these characters don’t really like each other when they go on the trip, but they don’t even kiss till the final 10 seconds of the movie. Drew is leagues above Adam in the romantic family genre, and if she had a leading man who could give her the performance that makes that relationship believable, then Blended would be a 6 or a 6.5. I promise you that i am not being picky about this movie at all. I go into every film with open eyes even if i don’t want to see it. I expected the world out of Godzilla and that kind of disappointed me. This is kind of the opposite. I expected the absolute worst out of Blended, but it actually was a lot better than i thought. As it stands, it’s nowhere close to my 20 worst films of the year. Blended is a film that any Sandler fan will think is a great movie. If you don’t mind tasting the same food for 15 years in a row, then it will always taste the way it did on day one. But if you go into Blended with a clear mind, you will think it’s an easily forgettable movie, and that is kind of sad. It’s sad that movies like Jack and Jill will be remembered more because of how bad they are ,and Blended with all of it’s heartfelt family sentiments will be forgotten because it’s only in the middle of Sandler’s filmography. Blended is two styles of movie that can never really fully commit one way or the other. recommended for Sandler fans, but everyone else can wait for DVD.

Walk Of Shame

MV5BODg2Mzk0NzU2M15BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwMjAyNjYxMTE@__V1_SX214_AL_

5.5/10

Elizabeth Banks stars as a news anchor who competes for the job of a lifetime, but goes through an extreme day of hell to get there. Banks goes out on a long night of drinking after she thinks she lost the job to another woman. When she wakes up at a bartender’s (James Marsden) house, she encounters a very long day of trying to get back home. Walk of Shame is a movie that I found charming at times with a decent amount of legit comedy. I did find myself laughing at a couple of scenes, and usually that would be enough for a film like this to get a passing grade, but it’s slow at times and the encounters are just too convenient to the storyline. Banks is given a yellow dress in the movie that apparently makes her look like prostitute to every person in the film, but to me it just looked like a normal dress that she would wear on the air. It’s because of the prostitute thing that a lot of her trouble happens. From running into other prostitutes to encountering drug dealers to being hunted down by the police, this movie has every bad day situation that you can encounter. Besides the comedy, the reason this film does get as far as it does is because of the amazing cast who usually serve as extras in a movie. People like Kevin Nealon, Bill Burr and Lawrence Gillard Jr are given more screen time than they normally would. All three have great comedic timing and were responsible for the best scenes in the movie. Director/writer Steven Brill should just stick to directing because his writing is very flaccid. Each situation breezes by without enough time for the audience to soak in what really happens. I could also see the payoffs to the jokes happening from miles away. This movie is a straight to pay per view film, and it’s probably a good thing. It’s got enough to make you watch it at home and enjoy a couple good laughs, but it’s easily forgettable by the time the credits roll at the 93rd minute. Walk of Shame is one of few occasions when Elizabeth Banks has been the lead, and I hope for her sake it isn’t the last. Walk of Shame is a film that she as well as the audience will want to soon forget. Not recommended.

Brick Mansions

MV5BOTI0ODQ2MzY5NF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwNTcxNzQxMTE@__V1_SX214_AL_

5.5/10

It’s always the easiest for me when the movie writes the review for me. What i mean by that is this movie has so many problems that keep it from being more than just a good action flick, and the problems are very evident. Paul Walker stars in one of his final films before his death as Damien Collier, a Detroit police officer who is sent into an apartment complex for criminals called Brick Mansions to defuse a bomb and rescue his partner’s girlfriend. This is a remake of the 2004 french film District 13, even taking the star of that film (David Belle) and making him Collier’s criminal partner Lino Dupree. The chemistry between the two characters is decent enough to keep the film entertaining, but their screen time is very uneven in the direction you wouldn’t think. Walker gets the first billing in this movie because he is the biggest star in it, but i saw Dupree being the main character of the film. The movie starts with him and has it’s best moments with him. It’s sad that this will be one of Walker’s last films because he isn’t really a big enough factor to make a difference for the mediocrity of Brick Mansions.RZA really is the best part of the movie as the mayor of Brick Mansions, Tremaine Alexander. RZA has really come a long way from his laughable performance in The Man With the Iron Fists. As Alexander, he has a soft spoken but dangerous way of running his gang.Another positive, It lives up to it’s promise of being a ruthless hard hitting action film for most of the 85 minute run time. It has beautifully choreographed fight scenes with some very dangerous criminal characters.The setting of Detroit has been almost comical this year for films like Only Lovers Left Alive and Robocop that need a rundown city that represents the beating America has taken.Unlike Robocop though, Brick Mansions isn’t afraid to show the true atmosphere of Detroit. This film also has a nice little twist at the end that would totally save the movie if it wasn’t for the absolute craziness of it all, but more on that later. Some of Mansions biggest problems are the thinkers problems of every movie. It’s the people who are smart enough to ask how in the world they rounded up all of these criminals and got them to cooperate to living in a fenced in community. Better yet, what were the rules for qualifying for this place? Does any small crime like store theft or breaking and entering count? Seems very silly to shack these people with murders and drug dealers. As i mentioned before, the ending is nice because it’s something completely different than what you would expect. SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS – Tremaine is found to be innocent, and the whole gated community is a setup by the mayor of Detroit. At the end Walker, Belle and RZA all come together to stop the corruption of the city. They succeed in exposing the mayor, but it’s what comes next that is truly laughable. Alexander runs for mayor of Detroit now that apparently his sins of murder, drug dealing and prostitution of women (all of which is seen in this film) has been forgiven. I know it’s Detroit, but COME ON!!! Also, all of the criminals are apparently good guys now with smiles, and accompanied by a new children’s school that opens up in Brick Mansions. Because who wouldn’t want their children growing up next to this kind of crowd? If you think i have mentioned the worst of it, you are wrong, my friend. They saved the last kick in the pants for the last minute of the movie when they show Walker being congratulated by his on screen father. During this scene, The Man by Aloe Blacc plays, and you guys know how much i am crazy about that song It just all left me with a bad taste in my mouth. Overall, i really wish Walker was given a better send off. If people are going to spend their hard earned money to see Walker, i would say save it and rent the film Hours (2013). That movie is 95% Paul Walker because it is mostly a one man cast. There have been better films for Walker than Hours, but that is his single best performance. Save Mansions for DVD. It might be worth a dollar Redbox rental…….MAYBE

The Other Woman

MV5BMTc0ODE4ODY1OF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwMDA5NjkzMTE@__V1_SY317_CR1,0,214,317_AL_

5.5/10

Interestingly enough, the film that i had the least interest in was the one that ended up winning the best weekend film. That’s not to say that The Other Woman is a great film by any means, but it has it’s charms. It stars Cameron Diaz, Leslie Mann and Kate Upton as three women being played by the same guy. Mann in particular gives her best performance in her limited filmography. She plays Kate King with the kind of humorous sadness that this film should’ve entirely been about. The Other Woman is supposed to be a story about the power of feminism, but it never fully commits to that power to give us the courageous film that we could’ve gotten. Diaz in particular is such a robotic character that it’s hard to ever get any kind of read on her emotions. She goes through the whole film explaining how she doesn’t need a man, only to be interested in a new man 5 minutes later. She tries to be the tough, independent female, but she is terribly miscast. Upton is in her 3rd film, but none of that acting lessons are paying off in this film. She brings nothing more to the typical bimbo with breasts, and the movie’s 2nd half suffers greatly for it. With all of the issues i just mentioned, you are probably wondering what about his film i enjoyed. It does deliver in comedic schtick. I found myself laughing during this film the most i have in months. Leslie Mann has certainly learned enough about comedic timing from starring in her husband Judd Apatow’s flicks. She is the sole reason why this film succeeds in the casting department. I also dug seeing Don Johnson playing the father no one has ever had. He portrays Diaz’s father, and specifically gives her some jaw dropping advice when Diaz suspects her boyfriend is cheating on her. He says “To put on something sexy, go over and get laid”. What father says this to his daughter at any age? He also has a completely unbelievable hook up by the end of the film, but i am not going to spoile that for you. The Other Woman’s first act sets the bar pretty nicely for where the film should go. It’s unfortunate that the 2nd half of the film gets gobbled up in too many story lines moving at once. The viewer will often have to stop to reflect on where the characters are at that point. The revenge scene with the boyfriend is severely ridiculous. I wish i could tell you more, but i know a few people who plan on checking this out. I only recommend this film to the ladies who are planning a girls night out. I think they can relate to some of what goes on in the film enough to appreciate it. The men will win because their women will appreciate that their guy isn’t like the nimrod in this film. Enjoy it ladies, and remember to thank your favorite film critic

Wolf Creek 2

MV5BMTQxMDMxNjMwOV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwNzk1MzI1MTE@__V1_SX214_AL_

5.5/10

Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the Australian Outback, hunter Mick Taylor (John Jarratt) returns in the sequel to the 2005 original that redefined horror. I am kind of in the middle when it comes to how i really felt about this film. It does have it’s memorable scenes like a sensitive male anatomy part getting cut off in the most graphic and revealing way possible. It also has a kangaroo massacre scene with several kangaroos being run down by a car with “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” being played in the background. I found myself laughing during these scenes, and i don’t know if that’s what the filmmakers were going for or if there truly is something wrong with me. Besides that, Wolf Creek 2 offers nothing really new in this sequel. Jarratt is outstanding as usual. He could pretty much play the antagonist role in his sleep at this point. His charm is the only reason i would recommend fans of the first film to see this one. The story structure is practically the same as the first film. You can almost time everything scene by scene, and it’s because of that you can predict what is going to happen next. The ending is EXACTLY the same as the first film. It’s at the end of this 100 minute film that you realize there was no point at all to making a sequel to this. I mean, we did see more of the hideouts for Taylor than we did in the first film, but we learn nothing more about his character. I can only hope that if they do a Wolf Creek 3 that it’s a prequel showing us the origins of Mick Taylor. That is exactly what they should’ve done with this sequel. Like the original, two backpackers are camping throughout the Australian outback when they come across a psychopath who likes to hunt humans for fun. The protagonists are so unlikable, and i blame that on the fact that unlike the first film, this one doesn’t take the time to give us a back story for them. Some people didn’t enjoy the first film because the first 40 minutes were built up so slow and only focused on the three protagonists journey to Wolf Creek. I thought it was done right, as you legitimately cared about what happened to those three people. In this film, their deaths mean nothing. The graphic gore has times of sheer genius, but it flakes out in the last act. It truly cannot decide if it wants to be a plain rated R or to really push the boundaries into territory not often seen in the States. The ending is something that is a little confusing and totally doesn’t make sense. The door is certainly open for a 3rd film, but i can only hope that they grant my wish, and not give us another plain Jane sequel. Overall, i would only recommend this film to fans of the first movie who are thirsty for more of Jarratt’s comedic tones that he brings to his characters. Either way, wait till DVD.

Rio 2

MV5BMTgzMDczMDYzNl5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwMzk2MDIwMTE@__V1_SX214_AL_

5/10

The effort is on a higher scale in this sequel to the 2011 animated feature that i wasn’t a fan of. I will say that Rio 2 is a better film than it’s predecessor, but it is completely riddled in problems. Blue and the family are back with the mission to move the family to his girlfriend’s (Jewel) homeland of the amazon. Blue runs into some tough adjustments along the way, and he has to prove to Jewel that he has what it takes to rough it in the jungle. This film felt very tedious and overstuffed to me. There are too many characters with too many storylines, and only 95 minutes of screen time to wrap everything up. The characters are so hard to distinguish because a lot of them look the same. It’s a rough animated film when you have to memorize every celebrity (Over 20 of them) just to know who is standing in what scene. Beyond this, the characters and their journeys just aren’t that exciting. One thing that films like Despicable Me and Frozen does well is that they give us characters that we learn so much about in such a small bit of dialogue. I felt like i knew everything about the sisters after i watched Frozen, and that is because that is storytelling done well. The animation is absolutely breathtaking with far away shots of Rio and the amazon. There is definitely nothing to complain about in the graphic department of coloring and shading. I did not see this film in 3D, but i can imagine that you won’t need it to fully enjoy the scenery that compliments the colorful feathers of each bird. I also felt that the songs were done a lot better than the first film. One scene in particular is where the villain of the film, Nigel is singing about how he plans to poop on the party of the main characters. It’s cheap laughs for the kiddies, but that doesn’t mean i didn’t catch myself laughing at it as well. The soundtrack is definitely the highlight of this film, but those tracks are few and far between. Jesse Eisenberg, Anne Hathaway, Jamie Foxx, Tracy Morgan and Bruno Mars to name a few, really do a great job for their characters. Their voices don’t necessarily stick out in a scene and that is perfect when doing voice work. It should be about the film and not the actors playing the animation. Overall, i know there are a lot of Rio fans out there, but i would wait till DVD on this one if you absolutely have to see it. I can just hope that this series will stop here because these characters have already squeezed every drop of this less than stellar franchise. Rio 2 is a bust.

Noah

MV5BNDE1MTkzNzc0MF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwMjYxNDEyMjE@__V1_SY317_CR1,0,214,317_AL_

5/10

WOW!!! So that just happened. After sitting through 2 hours and 15 minutes of Director Darren Aronofsky’s latest film, i can clearly say that this is the most extreme interpretation of any story in any book ever. I hate to say that i can kind of understand why the Catholics are so upset with this film. That’s not to say that i agree with them, but i get why they are mad. This film is INSANE. It’s like mixing the bible with the film Apocalypse Now. For those of you who thought Baz Luhrman’s Romeo and Juliet was an extreme adaptation, you now have no room to talk. Noah is the tale of Noah’s Ark and the end of the world. Noah (Russell Crowe) gets his family and all of the animals into this wooden ark and Noah is told to do this to survive the massive flood. In this film, Noah is a murderer, a bible obsessive to the point of pure insanity, and threatens to kill his son’s 2 newborn daughters. He even gets to the point of running through the Ark with a knife about to kill those babies. On top of all of this is the hypocritical point of view that Noah is doing all of this from the word of God, but yet lets thousands of people die in the storm because they supposedly ruined the world. Getting into a religion debate is the LAST thing i want to do in this world, but doesn’t it say something in the bible about forgiving? Apparently not because Noah and God are quite vengeful in this film to the point of water knocking off people hanging on cliffs. There are also rock people in this film that protect Noah’s family by blocking the people getting to the ark. The CGI on the rock people is absolutely terrible. It makes the movie seem comical at times when it’s not supposed to be. This is weird because the CGI for the animals in the ark actually isn’t too bad. They mostly use wide shots for these animals, and that is the right way to go about it. Already halfway through this review, i can tell you that there are just too many crazy things in this film. I might have to do an hour long video review someday Some things i did enjoy about the film was the fact that they did dare to do something different and entertaining for once. I just think they failed at the aspect of making it anything but comical. I also thought the cinematography was beautiful. Especially with the scenary and some amazing editing done during the symbolism shots. Noah occasionally has these shots when he is sleeping and hearing the word of God. The acting isn’t terrible either. I think Emma Watson and Jennifer Connolly are good without having to be the main focus of the film. Crowe is about the craziest choice you could have possibly have had from a guy who isn’t named Nicolas Cage. The film does start off kind of slow, but it’s in the 2nd hour that it really picks up. Funny enough, the ark takes off with about an hour left of the film, so you kind of wonder what they could do with that time. That is when all of the craziness erupts with six people stuck on a boat all turning on each other. The pacing of their actions made me feel like i was watching an HBO show because we are predicting what these characters will do before they even know it.The ending is weak because they go back on all of the insanity they have created for a cliche ending. Overall, this is the craziest thing i have ever seen for an adaptation. I think a majority of the good reviews is because it’s a story that people definitely weren’t expecting.To me, it’s very hard to take seriously because of the mind blowing events on screen. I would recommend this film only because there will not be anything like this for a LONG time. Wait till DVD though. If i have one big regret about this film, it’s that i didn’t have the option of having a rewind button to enjoy the laughter of the madness unfolding around me. Overall verdict – Better than Son of God, but only because it wasn’t boring.

The Single Moms Club

MV5BMTg0NjgyOTcwOV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwNjg1NTQxMTE@__V1_SX214_AL_

5/10

I didn’t like this movie at all, but i have to say that it is my favorite Tyler Perry movie. This means that this film had the least amount of things that pissed me off. Nia Long, Amy Smart and YES Tyler Perry star in this film about 5 divorced women who go through the struggles of raising children by themselves. I thought it was very honorable of Perry to cast himself in the lead male role opposite of the most beautiful woman (My opinion) in the movie, Nia Long. His acting is nothing less than creepy. This film could have easily been turned into a horror/suspense film because of the weird motions he goes through with trying to be with Long. It’s sad to say that he is the least creepiest when he dons a grey wig and women’s clothing. If you think i am saying this because i think Perry is a terrible actor, you would be wrong. I also thing he is a terrible writer. My favorite line that he himself utters in the film takes place when Nia Long calls his cell phone and they have a conversation. When it is over, he asks for her phone number. Ummmmmm maybe just look on the phone THAT SHE CALLED YOU ON!!!!!!! With my Perry frustrations out i can now focus on the movie itself. The film is funny because it’s very convenient. The characters go through THE EXACT SAME THING at the EXACT SAME TIME. They all find good looking men that like them AT THE EXACT SAME TIME. And what Tyler Perry film would great without racism? This film is weird with that subject though because sometimes it’s played for laughs and sometimes it’s played as a seriously disturbing subject. You kind of can’t play on both sides of the road on this one. You ask your audience to laugh and be angered when racism rears it’s ugly head. There are some great characters in the film that are led by Wendi Mclendon-Covey (Bridesmaids) and Cocoa Brown. Covey is given the deepest role as a racist white woman who makes the biggest transformation by the end of the film. She bickers a lot with Brown and it makes for some legitimately funny moments that even made your favorite film critic chuckle. Terry Crewes also cameos with his usual comedic schtick. I don’t care what that guy is in, he will always be funny to me. Beyond this, the rest of the characters are on sleep mode. One female even came close to topping Perry’s phone number line. She divorced her husband but is still living in a house that her husband funds. She is secretly seeing a guy behind her exes back, but he says that he will cut her off if he finds out she has a man. Cocoa Brown tells her that if he stops funding her that she can receive more money by taking him to court since she has custody of the child. She is completely shocked to find this out. DERRRRRRRRR!!!!!! The film itself clocks in at just shy of 2 hours, but i think that is because it has the deepest message of any Perry film. It’s about women who lose everything they know and because of friends they are given the power to stand back up. That message did kind of hit a soft spot with me as my friends have always been my rock. If i had the audacity to make someone sit through a Tyler Perry film, this would be the one i would recommend. For those of you who like his humor, wait till DVD. There is no reason to rush to the theaters when this will be a rental in 2 months……..trust me.

Need For Speed

MV5BMTY3NjMyMjc3MV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwNTE1MzcwMjE@__V1_SY317_CR0,0,214,317_AL_

5.5/10 – (SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS) With the exception of Fast Six, this is the most i have ever had to suspend disbelief in a “Speed movie”. Need For Speed is the latest in a film genre about the machines men love and wish they had.It is an adaptation of the popular video game series. Aaron Paul stars as Tobey Marshall, a mechanic and driver who is given the opportunity to save his shop by racing against his arch rival for a boat load of cash. Aaron’s best friend is killed in the race, and he is to blame. He serves 2 years in prison for something that i honestly don’t understand how they pieced the blame on him. That’s exactly what ruins this film though, the fact that it has to brake every ten minutes for some other bombshell in disbelief. There were a couple of big problems that i had with the film that i will share at the bottom. If you don’t want to be spoiled, i suggest you don’t read it. Drive and Rush should have taught us that it is possible for this genre to produce good films. Those two show that the racing can be secondary as long as it has a great story to fall back on. In Need For Speed, the story is easily forgettable as we see beautifully shot chase scenes that will make the viewer feel the power of these muscle cars. The film also delivers two good performances by Aaron Paul and Michael Keaton. I had no idea Keaton was even in this film (Why has Hollywood been doing this with their trailers lately?), but he has the absolute time of his life as the organizer of the big race who hosts his own radio show. Keaton is quite literally off of his rocker in this role and i loved every minute of it. This film also had a pretty wide variety of cover songs that really set the mood for each scene. The best of all is a mellow cover of “All Along the Watchtower”. Beyond this, the film is lost in 2 hours of mediocrity. It has no chemistry between Paul and his female counterpart, it has a lot of awkward scenes just for the hell of it, and it is possibly the biggest insult to law enforcement. Overall, Paul has always had great dramatic chops, but he wastes it in terrible film choices like this. I hope his choices are better in the future. It will be hard to get out of the Jesse Pinkman typecast. Recommended to car buffs, but no one else.
Problems i had
1. While doing over 100 MPH on the freeway, a friend of Paul’s comes by with a gas truck. He fills up the car while they are driving at full speed. UMMMMM NO!!!! A car is already dangerous when it’s turned on while filling up. Multiply that danger by 50 when it’s going over 100 MPH.
2. The villain makes a threat to Aaron Paul on the radio show where he tells the world that he will give them 7 million dollars to make sure Paul doesn’t race in the final race. An issued threat would probably mean jail time for a death threat.
3. Aaron Paul has a friend in the film who steals 3 helicopters. He goes to jail for these acts and then manages to convince the guard to let him watch the final race on an IPAD. I can’t make this up people
4. (BIG TIME SPOILERS) The ending has Paul going to jail for 6 months for illegal racing. I guess they forgot eluding the officers multiple times, destruction of property, disturbing the peace, auto theft and assault during the final race. Smells like more than 6 months to me

Son Of God

MV5BMjA3NjQ2ODYwN15BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwNTQ0NDc2MDE@__V1_SY317_CR0,0,214,317_AL_

5.5/10

The spirit is there for an above expectations film, but the execution is a little underwhelming. Son of God is the latest Jesus bio flick about his presence in Rome with the apostles who he inspires. These kind of films aren’t my kind of taste in film, so i apologize for the review ahead of time. I will say that Son of God is probably the best holy movie i have seen since The Ten Commandments. It has a well performing cast, heart stopping imagery and a phenomenal score written by the great Hans Zimmer. With the imagery, there is no holding back in the camera shots of this film. They give you the kind of shots that will make you feel completely uncomfortable if you have any relationship to Jesus or religion. The biggest problem with the film? The first hour is INSANELY BORING. It just moves soooo slow, and it kills any motivation that the film has to bring in an audience that wants nothing to do with it. The second hour of the film is where the film starts to pick up, but it is a little late by that point. I once again explain that this will hurt the people with no interest in this film other than curiosity. The religious movie goer will feel inspired by every bit of this 2 hour and 15 minute run time. The villains are a little over the top with what sounds like 90’s bully lines. One line in particular was when Jesus was crucified and one of the soldiers said “Hey Jesus, i bet you can see your holy temple from up there”. Keep in mind that these soldiers are holy crusaders to begin with, so it’s kind of against their religion to make that kind of joke, but i digress. It’s lines like this and some of the acting that gives this film a stamp of corny. With some of the dialogue, it almost seemed like they were making two different films. Son of God is a film that i can recommend to the religious crowd. If you do not apply to this and want to see it, i suggest you wait till DVD. The theater experience was a little awkward at times for a guy like me. I was also amazed at how many trailers there were for holy films coming out. I knew about “Noah” and “Heaven is for Real”, but there were two other films coming out with similar premises. Hell, one even stars the Duck Dynasty guy who got kicked off the show. I can’t make this stuff up guys. I wait for Hollywood to approach me with a movie deal someday. My final stamp of approval, i can’t recommend Son of God since it was half good/half bad for me.