Underworld: Blood Wars

Vampire death dealer, Selene (Kate Beckinsale) fights to end the eternal war between the Lycan clan and the Vampire faction that betrayed her, in “Underworld: Blood Wars”. The fifth installment in the series is about The war between the Vampires and the Lycans waging on with the Lycans being led by Marius (Tobias Menzies) being close to defeating the Vampires. He thinks if he can get the hybrid daughter of Vampire Death Dealer Selene, her blood will be the key to defeating the Vampires once and for all. It’s when she battles one of Semira’s people, that he subdues her with a toxin that paralyzes her. Semira then has her man kill the trainees with Selene’s weapon. She then reveals she wants Selene for her blood. Eventually David learns of what Semira is doing and tries to get Selene away and takes her way to the only other Vampire stronghold there is. Eventually Marius learns of this and sets out to find Selene and find out for sure if she knows where her daughter is. And it’s while they are there at the stronghold that David learns the truth about his lineage. “Underworld: Blood Wars” is directed by Anna Foerster, and is rated R for strong bloody violence and sexual material.

“There is no beginning, there is no end, there is only war”. This is a line of dialogue uttered in the final frame of “Underworld: Blood Wars”, and it’s a quote that registers eerily well to what we are forced to swallow in the fifth installment of this franchise. I am someone who did enjoy the original “Underworld”, but I had no idea how this series could grow into a horror/Sci-Fi series that has lasted thirteen years. For a series that I have hated nearly every movie in, “Blood Wars” continues to add to that tradition by providing me one of the truly most dulling sits that I have had in 2016. This movie got pushed back a month from its original release this month, to the numbingly awful graveyard of January releases, and it’s easy to see why. “Blood Wars” instills very little new or inspiring to refresh this series to a new generation of viewers, instead settling for the mundane in presentation and characterization that has made it one of the black marks of saga films going today. At 82 minutes long, there’s very little story or ideas to keep this series fresh, and Foerster’s latest picture feels like the last gasp in a franchise whose best days are clearly behind it.

This is a movie with no fewer than twenty characters coming in and out of the frame at all times, and if you’ve missed a movie or even an introduction in this movie, you will be lost and uninterested in that character as this goes on. With the exception of Kate Beckinsale’s Selene, there’s very little contrast in deposition to what goes into each one of these Vampires or Lycans, so every establishing scene kind of blends together for this and past films. At this point, I doubt that even the most passionate of Underworld fans would be able to give me an in-depth summary of each film, because they all feel like one long ten hour movie that just doesn’t know when to quit. Beckinsale radiates like the glow off of a turd here because she is the only one who ever truly feels like she isn’t phoning it in. There’s little to no chemistry between her and Theo James, mainly because James’s delivery feels very forced for his role in this particular genre. I’m not saying Theo doesn’t have what it takes to be a solid actor, but his casting as this hunter of sorts is a little far-fetched at best. Charles Dance’s return as Thomas is a welcoming one for this critic, but he’s given the bare minimum of arcs to make him truly memorable in this installment the same way he has been for a majority of the series. His screen time is reduced for younger, beautiful models who all look like they got lost in a Hot Topic and decided to play dress up. None of them differ from the other, and the lack of development in their personalities make their deaths that much more null in void.

To give credit where it is due, the action is pulse-setting and very off the wall in terms of creativity and brutality. There is a great lack in terms of CGI believability in the creatures and when they interact with a live actor, but when it’s two actors colliding in frame the fights are very well choreographed and refreshing to get away from the overabundance of exposition for Selene’s blood and the importance it plays in this chapter. The action allowance is unfortunately limited, with the first sequence happening exactly thirty-five minutes into the movie, but you will welcome it like air when it happens because it is the one thing about this movie that I will remember tomorrow. One scene in particular with Selene teaching the Vampires the unpredictability in cage fighting was my personal favorite of the movie because it felt like one of the only scenes where things weren’t taken too seriously. An aspect that this series has long since given up on.

The design and cinematography continues to be hideous for this series, serving tribute to an era of movies that took pride in the darker the backgrounds the better for the movie. When you’re not squinting your eyes and trying to register what is taking place on film, you will be uninspired with the lack of beauty from this monochrome world that looks unoriginal even with the display of scenes from interiors to exteriors. There’s a scene in the film that has been shown in trailers, with Selene fighting this immense Lycan, and the green-screen influence in this scene takes away anything of intrigue that the action gives us. The hit registering on the Lycan is nearly undetected, the glacier background is nearly animated in design with how the characters impact off of it with each devastating blow, and I could’ve sworn that I saw a wire or two during the scenes when Beckinsale leaps at her enemy. It’s all a reminder that very little time or energy went into these effects that feel more like a DVD commentary track instead of an actual finished product.

“Blood Wars” might be perhaps the worst of the Underworld series because it undersells everything about the movie that is supposed to make it different or original again. Foerster knows how to shoot the action with precision, but it’s in the mundane plot and characters where her movie underwhelms at nearly every angle. If nothing else, this installment is a test for completists whose soul intention to throw their money away will be the lone argument in making a sixth movie. This one is competent in lacking the dazzle or charisma that doomed it to the January graveyard.

3/10

3 thoughts on “Underworld: Blood Wars

    1. Thank you Ben. With a name like Criticssuck, I don’t know why you bother to take the time to read them if they bother you that much. Thanks for reading, buddy

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