The Last Witch Hunter

The Last Witch Hunter

Vin Diesel stars as the hunter in question, on a mission of extinction and immortality. In “The Last Witch Hunter”, Diesel stars as Kaulder, a valiant warrior who managed to slay the all-powerful Queen Witch, decimatin

g her followers in the process. In the moments right before her death, the Queen curses Kaulder with her own immortality, forever separating him from his beloved wife and daughter in the afterlife. In today’s modern world, Kaulder is the only one of his kind remaining, and has spent centuries hunting down rogue witches, all the while yearning for his long lost loved ones. However, unknown to Kaulder, the Queen Witch is resurrected and seeks revenge on her killer causing an epic battle that will determine the survival of the human race. This movie has been receiving a lot of negative feedback from critics and movie patrons alike. Some of it is validated by a script that is very sloppy, especially during a third act when it’s hard to keep up. But Diesel fans will enjoy some dramatic turns by his character not often seen by playing Mr. Cool.

This film is of course cloaked in cheesy CGI, but for a film about witches and creature folklore, the computer generated effects play a more useful part than those films that make it stick out like a sore thumb. The creatures in this film are a little silly, but everything feels like a grand scale game of Dungeons and Dragons, so it’s not unusual to see the imagination running wild during a film of this kind. The CGI is also responsible for some dreamy 16th century landscapes that really set the tone for some emotional flashbacks from Diesel’s point of view.

That brings me to the performances in the film, and there is no question that this movie is a one man show. Diesel’s impeccable charisma is front and center for the viewer to admire. If you are a fan of his career, you won’t be as bothered by the film’s lack of relatable content. Where the film really has trouble with it’s protagonist is in the result of not having anyone else to work off of for more than a scene, or two. Michael Caine plays Diesel’s longest co-worker, as a priest who exterminates witches alongside Kaulder. Caine is a brilliant reflection of a long lost actor’s generation, but I was disappointed that his character is reduced to three scenes during the entire 100 minute feature. The movie’s smoothest moving transitional scenes are when Diesel and Caine share an almost father-Son on screen chemistry, despite Diesel’s character being over 700 years older than him. Elijah Wood makes a surprising effort as the priest filling in for an aging Caine. If you think Wood is strangely cast in this kind of movie, you would be correct in your assumption. Something just doesn’t feel right for his portrayal, and a lot of that may rest on the script that has very little for him to do. Diesel also struggles with a central antagonist. The film has villains, but none are ever strong enough or big enough a threat to match Diesel’s immortality. The film uses three different mouthpieces as central antagonists in the film, and their shared screen time feels sloppy to the real conflict of the film. Three small threats don’t equal one major.

I mentioned before that the third act is the weak point of the film. That is the point where the script really loses the audience. This is definitely a film that the audience has to pay attention to every small detail, as one missed nugget of truth will have you lost with the themes that the movie is trying to convey. I did pay attention to every detail, and even I feel like I was missing something by the roll of the credits. The movie just suffers greatly in it’s lackluster storytelling that just doesn’t add up. For instance, why would this Queen Witch curse Kaulder with immortality? Knowing that his existence could wipe out the witch blooding, this seems like the very worst decision you could do. Sure, there is the aspect of him suffering for a lifetime, but the threat of that doesn’t seem to justify the worse that could come from such a curse. I also wish the film would’ve touched more on the fates of Kaulder’s wife and daughter. We know they are of course dead during the film, but we are reduced to mere flashback scenes, none of which ever showcase their fates. These scenes could’ve communicated to the audience the toughest of days that Kaulder lived through in an over 800 year sentence.

Overall, “The Last Witch Hunter” isn’t a good film, but it’s not a bad one either. It’s a blank piece of paper for anyone who isn’t a die hard Diesel fan. It’s hard to recommend something the gauged the vaguest of responses from me, but if you have to see it, wait for DVD. This movie has nothing that would justify it as a must see theater experience. With a tighter script with more attention to storytelling, “The Last Witch Hunter” could’ve been proof that Diesel could survive without the Fast franchise, as it stands, his filmography is running out of gas.

5/10

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